November 16, 2007...2:43 am
Fat women are beautiful, not always attractive
All people have beauty. I think that is an accepted fact. Another fact, people hate it when generalities are made. For example:
Women can’t drive
Black people can play sports
Men are controlled by their penises
We don’t like statements like that. However, some women can’t drive, some black people are great at sports, and there are quite a few men who are slaves to their dicks. Another truth…Fat women are not always seen as attactive. Beautiful maybe, but are men generally attracted to fat women????? You tell me.
Life has taught me that the answer is no. The fat women who are currently fat, single, (not those who are married and got married while skinny, and are now fat) and looking for love…only about 20% of them (who I know, I don’t know who you know) are dating.
People tell me all the time…men like women with meat on them, especially black men. Yes there are men with Big Girl fetishes…but…No woman wants a man to want them just because they are a BBW, or have long hair, or are thin, or rich. Women want to be loved because of who they are. I don’t want a man who likes big girls…I just want a man that finds me attractive. However, if I haven’t been hit on in a year…come on?????? You can preach to me about loving myself all you want. My reality and the reality around me give me cues about life and living. One thing that I know that I know that I know.
Being generally accepted as attractive by the opposite sex increases your dating options. I really don’t think you can argue with that. If you are a single black woman over the age of 25, you have to deal with a lot of competition for few eligible black men. Being attractive increases your odds of dating more…thus being exposed to more men who you may be able to have a meaningful relationship with.
Side note: You can be a BBW and meet men…I’m not saying you can’t. But the other point to this is that I love Fit, Muscular men who take care of their bodies. Men like these. These men usually want a woman who is also fit and takes care of her body…workouts and such. Are they wrong to have standards…women have standards too? If you want to attract some “eye candy”, you may want to be giving out eye candy. You dig??
11 Comments
November 16, 2007 at 7:41 am
Since you seek a mate who is active and fit, it does indeed make sense for you to be an active and fit person. Enjoy the journey!
November 16, 2007 at 10:25 am
i think that this depends. for me this is not 100% true.
November 16, 2007 at 2:55 pm
Getsomehairapy, does that men that if you are unfit and fat you should only expect to date people who are the same. A lot of women would not be happy with that.
November 16, 2007 at 5:34 pm
No, that means that people who are active and fit often enjoy activities that someone who is unfit either wouldn’t enjoy or might not be capable of participating.
It also means that people leading an active life often find themselves in different places than people who are less active. (eg. I wouldn’t meet someone at the kayak store, because I don’t kayak.)
You meet and fall in love with the people who come into your world. If you aren’t meeting anyone in the world you have, it makes sense to expand that world.
December 17, 2007 at 7:53 pm
You are so right. I am, for the most part, like every other guy; though I do work out five times a week, which is not average. I hate to say this, but I am repulsed by heavy women. And every single guy, be it co-worker, aquaintance, friend, etc agrees; heavy women are not at all attractive. As much as Oprah pushes the Big is Beautiful farce, reality is the opposite.
I can only assume that heavy people just get tired of getting called on their weak excuses for their appearance. Thus, they come up with the “you have to love me for who I am,” nonsense that ultimately fails. Sure, maybe a guy here or there will, but the vast majority of men won’t, and will lok elsewhere.
January 20, 2008 at 7:36 pm
I think it depends on where you are at. I noticed that when I was living in Philadelphia, I always had men trying to talk to me but when I moved back to my hometown in the Midwest, not a lot of men really try to talk to me but then again, Philly is a much more progressive city in terms of balancing things.
Philly was not as segregated as certain cities in the Midwest. I also thought it was quite racial to, my experiences as a fat woman. Black and Latino men are much more likely to be accepting of a woman with a few extra pounds on her. I think that there are some white guys that like fat women too but hide their preferences because of the neo-fascist mainstream media that’s determined to stuff “thin-at-all-costs” down our throats.
When you really think about it, weight is the last acceptable form of discrimination and I think a lot of people don’t feel good about themselves unless they have someone to look down on.
February 16, 2008 at 8:40 am
i agree wid mari! ’bout it depends where u’re at theory…i’m from hawaii and it’s normal to see big people…went up to cali and i get hollered at left to right…and then visited oregon in forrest grove and i was stared down errrrrywhere i go…with a look that reads “what is that?” lol…and i agree with hairapy with the physicals and stuff but thats more like personality than looks to me…so i’m with u dating web…because then again i truly think that it all has to do with confidence and loving ur own skin and stuff i mean i know it sounds corny and so cliche BUT it’s true…cause I’m bigger than most of my friends and (don’t mean to sound cocky) but when i feel like it i can get a guy that looks like “those men” and trust me sweeties don’t think so highly of them because they usually are more screwed up in the head then all of us…lol…so for you eric…c’mon now why u lyin for u know u want a fat and beautiful woman to put u to bed, bed, bed…lol…nah over-all i think that this article was cute…lol
paYce!
March 10, 2008 at 1:56 am
I agree that thin, fit people are generally more attractive than overweight people. But I don’t think it is right to assume that just because someone is fat, that means they are lazy or have an inactive lifestye. I am extrememly active, eat well and am healthy. Much more so than many naturally thin people I know. And yet, I am overweight. And no one is interested in me romantically, most likely because of my weight. What the hell am I supposed to do? I work with a woman who drinks, doesn’t work out or watch what she eats but she’s naturally thin, blonde and she’s got men crawling all over her. She’s not that nice either. It is very unfair. Most days I feel like killing myself from the loneliness and frustration and sexual deprivation. So, yea, it would be very, very nice if people would care about something other than outward appearance but they don’t. I’m a nice person, intelligent, caring and have something to offer but men don’t want anything to do with me and my life is basically unbearable. People should at least have a little more compassion and not assume all fat people have a choice in the matter.
March 12, 2008 at 2:05 pm
as an overweight young black woman in today’s society i have to say that it is harder women like me to get involved with someone and have them like you on a romantic level. i think it’s because the average man looks for the average woman. like interests. things in common. fat with fat, good-looking with good-looking. that’s just the way it is. sure, you have a few men out there who are nondiscrimatory but where the hell are they? until you meet that special someone you just have to go through the hell-dipped anticipation.
April 8, 2008 at 12:47 am
Guys like women who are feminine-looking. For example, female body-builders aren’t fat, but they’re generally repulsive to most men. Anorexics aren’t fat, but most guys don’t like them at all. Bull-dykes aren’t fat, but most guys don’t like them either.
Men like women who remind them of women in all respects. If you’re so big that you’re indistinguishable from a fat male, you’re too fat. The closer you get to that, the less attractive you are. That’s why guys don’t like fat: it’s because the fat figure begins to drift away from those visual cues that say “woman”.
On the other hand, women who are not skinny but still have those curves that say “human female” are fine by most men.
Just be healthy, and take a tip from the world of tranvestites — men are almost robotic in that “feminine” is an automatic attraction. Capitalize on it in all respects and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry about being skinny or not.
July 8, 2008 at 8:01 pm
I find this topic interesting. the funny thing is that fat women are not attracted to fat men. this is very true. they may not admit it but they want some trim guy with a six pack to be with. it goes both ways. men have to keep up our appearances as well. and anyone who says that they cant loose weight is full of shit. you need to watch what you eat especially at night and you will loose weight. eat healthy. 1000 cal a day and you will loose weight. no question about it. light exercise. the truth is you dont want to loose weight cause you too damn lazy or its too hard. well stay fat and stay unhappy. there comes a time when you have to choose between food and living. i know that choice is hard. i know it. i lost 60 pounds. i know in the middle of night waking up and sleep eating. i know it. but i chose. if i can do it then so can you. so get off your ass and go for a walk and put a diet plan together.
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